People exhaust me

People exhaust me…and not just negative people or dramatic people. Just people i general, and it has gotten worse since I have gotten older (and clean, I used to be able to hang out with tons of people for days and hours on end, but I was usually high, been clean for almost 10 years now, thats another blog post for another day)….

I feel bad for my family, especially my youngest and my husband, who seem to be more sociable than me, and would probably do more hanging out if I wasn’t such a hermit. My oldest is like me and prefers to not be around people. I do try but most the fail, and if I do try I can only keep up small talk or well any talk for around 30 minutes before I run out of things to say and then I try to listen but as an hour approaches  I begin to feel like my life is being sucked out of me literally and I have a hard time holding my eyes open, usually the people aren’t boring it is just mentally exhausting for me to be around people. Oddly enough my kids don’t have that affect on me, neither does Jody.

I have learned over the years how to fake social skills and smile and not say what is on my mind, like okay times up now I”m tired being around you forcing myself to listen to you talk about your kids, wife, family, pets vacation ect has drained me now go home or time for me to go thats all I can take.

Maybe I”m an odd ball and i know people think it is an excuse for me to not be around them, but it is not, it is physically and mentally taxing on me…If you want to communicate with me, text and facebook are awesome ways to do so, maybe not personal connections but atleast I don’t get drained from them.

 

 

#elsaneedsagirlfriend

Or not….

I don’t think she does. Before I get into why I want to make it clear I have zero against the LGTBQ community, I’m an active supporter of gay and lesbian rights, I have friends and family that are gay, my baby brother is marrying the love of his life and long term partner in June and I couldn’t be happier.

But I really don’t think Elsa needs a girl friend (nor am I excited about a sequel, I still know the entire script to Frozen). Elsa’s whole thing was strong single woman that didn’t need a man or well anyone, I think bringing Elsa a partner of either sex would ruin that.

Solution make a new movie and have either the prince or princess as a gay/lesbian character..

Thats just my two cents on why #elsaneedsagirlfriend

Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts

So many people think having a wedding band is important. To be honest I’ve went through 3 bands since we finally got married almost 9 years ago (July). Usually I lose them at work when my hands sweat and I take off rubber gloves I don’t notice that it is gone till the trash is taken out and sorry not sorry I’m not dumpster diving in a fast food restaurant…And my husband has swelling problems in his hands.

So when an article popped up on Facebook about couples tattoos I fell in love with the idea of wedding band tatt’s…Years ago we wanted to do but a shop refused then he went to prison…So after saving up the money, we got them done and since his birthday is Saturday and mine is in June, our anniversary follows in July we did a combination gift.

It took maybe 20 minutes for both and no it didn’t really hurt to bad and I”m in love with our new set and don’t have to worry about loosing it.

I’m sick..so go to the dr…I can’t afford to

Obamacare, ACA, Medicaid expansion, what ever you want to call it.This is an argument as old as the Obama administration. On the first go around Obama care, wasn’t bad it originally modeled the universal healthcare plans in Canada. But to many people were offended that poor people would actually get the medical care they needed, especially the working poor.

Have you ever been sick, not a cold or flu, but sick and not knowing what is wrong with you, but avoiding the Dr b/c you can’t afford another a debt . Or a down payment, or know that it would do no good because you can’t afford the medicine. Or had to tell your child sorry I can’t get your medicine this month because we need money for food or gas.

For several years I was only able to see a Dr, at RAM (remote area medical) once a year, where I would wait in line for hours if not days along with thousands of other people some of whom who had been waiting outside in tents for over a week, to get medicine, test ect they need. And even then some of the treatments can’t be completed in outside tents, in three days time, then they refer you to a teaching hospital where you may or may not get the treatment you need in the next 6-8 months (not the hospital fault their resources are stretched so far.).

Yes it is easy to say lazy get another job, a better paying job, work two jobs…but its not always realistic, especially when you need babysitters, time of for kids getting sick or have  a chronic illness.

My story goes like this and this is one of the huge reason I’m a Bernie supporter. I have worked since I was 15, sometimes two or three jobs at a time. Heck right now I”m working part time and I clean houses on my days off, as long as my “whatever” isn’t acting up and I am not either dizzy, hurting or so exhausted I can’t even hold my head up. The only time I took any length of time off, was the birth of my daughters, 6 weeks with the first one less than 4 with my second…..About a year to a year and half ago, I started hurting everywhere even to sit up, and the fatigue was just as bad, then I gained 80 pounds in a short amount of time and started having chest pains. I found out at even just 7o0 a month I was making to much to get any medical help…so the bills started piling up, the ER finally told me pretty much enough, you need to see a real dr and have x, y, z testing…I had no choice 6 months ago to cut my hours down to 10 a week…so with coupons and budgeting like crazy I make it work. However, had Virginia expanded their medicaid I would have been able to continue to work, and see the drs for the test that I am needing (not to mention the 150 dollars in medicine the drs have put me on) and not had to get rental assistance and food help. So to save some face and appease the elite, I have now had to go from poverty to well below poverty, just to get the medical care I need…Should I or anyone die b/c they are poor? Most Americans are not equipped to handle a medical emergency or extended illness, so think hard before you answer. I’ve never been lazy, and it kills me that it has come to this, but as a mother and wife I have to do what it takes to get healthy and be there for my family.

 

As far as what is wrong with me, the drs so far have said chronic gastritis, PCOS,  labyrithitis, depression and anxiety disorder, high blood pressure, insulin resistance, Stage one COPD and possibility fibromylia and possible sleep apena…However this will require several more dr visits test and medicine to treat and pin down….At this point I’m at a loss of what to do, and wonder if I should even continue trying to work for a corrupt system that doesn’t care whether I live or die.

Thats just my rant for tonight.

Intro Post

So just a quick intro, I actually ran a blog in the past about being married to someone in prison and it quickly turned into a facebook support group. But now with my husband finally home after 8 long years, I thought I would start a new family / lifestyle blog up. Mostly so our extended family’s can keep up with us. But also as a form of entertainment for me.

So quick background me and Jody are almost at 9 years of marriage, but met when we were 13 and had our first daughter when we were 18. We have two wonderful girls, Eden 17 and Lily 8. He did do a long prison sentence but is doing great since being released. We have 2 cats (noodle and black cat) a hamster (gussy) and we get to get our puppy Monday (Dexter). We both work outside the home, but I’m wanting to transition eventually to work at home.

The basic overall plan for my blog family updates (including our furry babies), rants and ramblings, work at home things, probably coupons and money saving tips eventually. I want to atleast update 4 times a week, until I complete my transition and then it will be daily.