People exhaust me

People exhaust me…and not just negative people or dramatic people. Just people i general, and it has gotten worse since I have gotten older (and clean, I used to be able to hang out with tons of people for days and hours on end, but I was usually high, been clean for almost 10 years now, thats another blog post for another day)….

I feel bad for my family, especially my youngest and my husband, who seem to be more sociable than me, and would probably do more hanging out if I wasn’t such a hermit. My oldest is like me and prefers to not be around people. I do try but most the fail, and if I do try I can only keep up small talk or well any talk for around 30 minutes before I run out of things to say and then I try to listen but as an hour approaches  I begin to feel like my life is being sucked out of me literally and I have a hard time holding my eyes open, usually the people aren’t boring it is just mentally exhausting for me to be around people. Oddly enough my kids don’t have that affect on me, neither does Jody.

I have learned over the years how to fake social skills and smile and not say what is on my mind, like okay times up now I”m tired being around you forcing myself to listen to you talk about your kids, wife, family, pets vacation ect has drained me now go home or time for me to go thats all I can take.

Maybe I”m an odd ball and i know people think it is an excuse for me to not be around them, but it is not, it is physically and mentally taxing on me…If you want to communicate with me, text and facebook are awesome ways to do so, maybe not personal connections but atleast I don’t get drained from them.